


Halloween Group Activity

by xcamay



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Psychiatric Hospital, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/F, I think :'), It's mostly sad sometimes, Mental Health Issues, NicoMaki don't appear in this spin off sorry, Not really angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 22:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12592244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcamay/pseuds/xcamay
Summary: Hanayo never thought that working at a psychiatric hospital would affect her so much, as a human being.





	Halloween Group Activity

**Author's Note:**

> Happy (belated) Halloween everyone! And happy birthday to our little Rin-chan. :3 She's one of my favorite characters in µ's, so maybe that's why Hanayo and her are almost the main characters here (it wasn't even planned!) ...  
> Only NicoMaki are missing, but seeing as this fic is like a spin off of my big psychiatric hospital AU, you can be sure they'll be in the, uh, 'real' story, I guess.
> 
> I wanted to thank two friends who proofread me (@my-idol-you-chan on tumblr, and Entropy, who also has a tumblr account but I don't remember the name...) and for telling me what they thought of this semi-Halloween fic! It helped me a lot.
> 
> I wanted to thank the author of this blog and credit them (https://justoneglimmer.wordpress.com/) because they helped me a lot. I'm eager to learn more about their experiences and ask them a few things to improve my writing when it comes to such topic. Hey, I'm going to deal with mental disorders, after all ...  
> A big thanks to all the records I found on the Internet too, especially the ones on Reddit. It helped me get to know more about several mental disorders! And I can't be more thankful.

**_October 31 st_ ** **, 07:02**

 

“K-Kotori-chan, I-I’m sorry I’m late!”

“There there,” Kotori chuckles as she pats her panting co-worker’s –and new friend– head, “It’s all right, Hanayo-chan. We’re still on time, don’t worry.”

“B-but won’t our mentors be mad at us …?” Hanayo finally straightens up, and Kotori is surprised to see that the young woman’s cheeks have a rosy tint – _did she run to get here?_

“At worst, it’s the first time we aren’t here at 7AM sharp since we’ve started working here.” Kotori offers her a reassuring smile as they both walk toward the entrance of the building, “I bet we’ll be fine, Hanayo-chan.”

“Yeah …”

“And I can’t wait to see what’s planned today!” the amber-eyed girl cheerfully goes on, clapping her hands while displaying a wide smile, “I wonder what they do on Halloween, here!”

“I-I’m curious about that, too …” Hanayo lightly scratches her cheek, wincing a little, “I mean, they told us we can’t dress up for the occasion, so … Do they really do something?”

“We’re going to find out!” Kotori smiles but, as soon as they reach the doors, she stops and turns to look at her friend, the worry slightly distorting her features. “Hanayo-chan … Are you okay?”

That simple question catches the brunette off guard, who lets out a surprised ‘ _Eh?_ ’.

“I mean, you still seem a little bit … Stressed.”

Hanayo instantly looks away, as if she were feeling very ashamed. She gulps and shakily sighs, “I … I never know what to expect here, even if it’s part of our job … But I do like it here, though!” Her expression is now a resolute one, which makes Kotori smile.

She knows how sensitive Hanayo is, and she clearly remembers their first day –the day they met– here, at the psychiatric hospital : before starting, they were in a room, which became their classroom day after day so their instructor could teach them the basics and some procedures ; and Kotori took a seat next to that nervous and shaking young girl. She was twisting her fingers, and sometimes went very pale during the doctors’ speech. Especially when they talked about the criminally-insane patients, who are kept in the forensic ward.

“That’s good Hanayo-chan. Let’s go, then?”

Partly reassured by Kotori’s ever-present smile, Hanayo nods her head and they both walk into the building, the excitement making their hearts flutter.

 

* * *

 

“Ah! Koizumi-san,” Hanayo holds a shriek back when she hears a voice calling for her, stopping dead in her tracks, frozen “Minami-san. You two are here,” the voice goes on, and the two friends turn on their heels.

In front of them stands a navy-haired woman, with amber eyes, clad in a white blouse, a cream-colored top and classic jeans : the doctor Sonoda Umi. As soon as Kotori sees her, her face brightens.

“Good morning, Umi-chan!”

Without a second thought, a bright red hue dusts the usually so composed doctor, who then stammers :

“R-right … G-g-good morning, Kotori-san …”

Some patients who are already walking down the corridor curiously look at them, others shoot them a weird look ; while Hanayo decides to stay silent, even if she does her best to fight her growing curiosity. She finds herself giving a polite and shy smile to every patient who happens to look at her.

“So, it’s Halloween today Umi-chan,” Kotori begins, her hands linked behind her back, “Will something special happen?”

“Unfortunately, no.” Umi shakes her head, furtively glancing around them, watching everything, “But we did plan activities related to Halloween. Speaking of, Koizumi-san,” Hanayo’s ears perk up at her name “Could you go see the patients who haven’t been checked on yet, and who have to take their medication today, and see if they want to come to this morning’s activity?”

“Y-yes, of course.”

“Here are the patients,” Umi hands her a notepad, before offering her an encouraging smile. “Um … K-Kotori-san and I are going to get everything ready, so we will wait for you.”

“H-hai!”

Pressing the notepad against her chest, Hanayo slightly bows before walking away. She doesn’t dare look back, or glance over her shoulder, fearing that if she does so, they will think she is too unsure and scared of doing that simple task all alone. And they certainly have already left, anyway.  
Gathering all her courage, Hanayo reads the first name on the sheet of paper … and she lets out a long and relieved sigh. Hoshizora Rin. Her firm favorite patient ; the one she gets along with very well, and the one who always makes her days brighter and brighter. She is well aware of the fact that she shouldn’t get emotionally involved with any patient –the therapists insisted on that point on her first day–, but she’s … She is human, right? So, she can’t really help it.

Before she knows it, Hanayo is already standing in front of the door leading to Rin’s room. After knocking twice, she slowly opens it, a smile illuminating her face. It grows wider the moment she sees the short-haired ginger sitting in her bed, loudly yawning, and rubbing the sleep off her eyes with a bent and closed fist –just like the paw of a cat.

“Good morning, Rin-chan,” she gently greets the patient, her tone of voice as soft as possible, as to not push her so early in the morning.

“Nyaaaw …” Another loud yawn and, at the sight of the nurse that she holds close to her heart, Rin starts kicking the cover on her legs, trying to get out of the bed as quickly as she can. “Kayo-chin, you’re here! Morning, nya!”

“Did you sleep well, Rin-chan?” she asks, letting the girl give her a quick hug –even if she knows that she _shouldn’t_.

“I did! I even had a dream about you, nya!”

“R-really?”

A soft and touched smile paints Hanayo’s lips as Rin, with her wild gestures, begins to relate everything in detail. It is about the two of them, some cats, a bridge over a river … Hanayo smiles and nods her head several times, still amazed at the fact that Rin has such a good memory.

 

* * *

 

“And you know, you know, the two cats who got to their feet –or should I say paws?–, they suddenly–“

“R-Rin-chan,” Hanayo carefully interrupts her, a warm and friendly smile on her face, “I have to check on other patients, you know …”

“Oh,” Rin pouts, disappointed, “… Oh but I know, nya! Can I go with you?”

“You should put your clothes on, first,” the nurse chuckles, stealing a glance at the notepad –next patient : Kousaka Honoka–, “And you have to go and take your medication, too.”

“Oh, right. Nya …”

“B-but we’ll see each other later!” Hanayo is quick to reassure her, causing Rin’s chartreuse eyes to glint, “S-Sonoda-san wants you to participate in a new group activity, and–“

“Will you be there, Kayo-chin?”

“I will. I didn’t attend a lot of group activities, so I’d love to–“

“Yay!” Rin cheers, bumping a fist in the air, “I’m going to get dressed, and I’ll see you there, nya!”

“D-don’t forget to take your medication!” Hanayo hurriedly says, earning a nod from the girl before she closes the bathroom door behind her.

Heaving a small sigh, the brunette leaves the room, knowing that she can trust Rin on putting her clothes on alone. She soon reaches a new door, but does not have time to knock that it’s already opening. She blinks, surprised, when she comes face to face with a girl who isn’t Kousaka Honoka.

“A-ah, good morning, Tsubasa-san,” Hanayo greets the chestnut-haired girl, quite unsettled. She is about to ask what she is doing in Honoka’s room, but then she remembers : these two are always together. So much that the staff and other patients nickname them ‘ _the lovebirds_ ’. Director Nishikino even allowed the staff to not separate them and let them visit each other whenever they want to –‘ _They are each other’s medication, after all_ ’, she once said.

“Hello,” Tsubasa says with a polite smile, “Honoka-chan is still sleeping, don’t wake her up, please.”

“But–“

As if she had anticipated what Hanayo was about to say, Tsubasa shakes her head and interrupts her, her voice gentle, “I’ll bring her her meds, and I’ll make sure she takes them, don’t worry. You can go on and see the others.”

Kira Tsubasa. As responsible and as caring as ever –especially when it comes to Honoka. She would do anything for her, and always makes sure that the smile she cherishes so much never vanishes from her joyful ginger’s face.

“Thank you very much, Tsubasa-san. Oh! Before I forget …”

“Mh?” Tsubasa lightly hums, stopping herself from taking a step forward.

“Sonoda-san is organizing something this morning. Would you like to come?” And she hastily adds, “With Honoka-chan, of course.”

“We will be here,” the emerald-eyed girl assures with a big smile –despite not spending much time with the lovebirds, Hanayo heard that they were fond of group activities, and especially the ones led by the doctors Sonoda, Ayase, Toudou and Nishikino.

 

* * *

 

_Toujou Nozomi_.

Hanayo gulps as she reads the patient’s name. To tell the truth … Toujou Nozomi scares her, a little. It isn’t the kind of fear that makes you freeze right on the spot, that makes your heart beat loudly in your chest –so loudly that it’s the only thing you hear–, no ; it’s mostly the kind of small and short-lived fear that you don’t know how to deal with, because you never know what to expect with her. And _that_ , that stresses Hanayo out.

Toujou Nozomi suffers from borderline personality disorder, and she experiences bad mood swings.

Most of the time, she is a kind, considerate and happy woman, with that mysterious and spiritual aura around her. But last week put her through hell : because doctor Ayase Eli didn’t show up at work, as she caught a nasty strep throat. Her absence ravaged Nozomi’s heart and mind : she felt _abandoned_.

Luckily, today is supposed to be the day doctor Ayase comes back. And, hopefully, Nozomi will be fine again and will start taking her medication again. Indeed, she stopped taking it the first day Eli wasn’t here. As if it could punish her. And, more importantly, as if it could magically drag Eli here so they could see each other again. If it were possible, Nozomi would have been reassured, and they would have avoided that week full of mood swings, swearing, tears and screams.

“Please, be okay,” Hanayo whispers to herself, eyes closed, “Please, please, be okay, Nozomi-chan …”

“YOU ABANDONED ME!”

The holler startles Hanayo, who slightly jumps and freezes. Her purple eyes are widen open now, and they widen even more –if that’s even possible– the moment she sees the blonde-haired doctor in front of a closed door.

“A-Ayase-san …?”

Hanayo is surprised to see dark rings under those intense blue eyes. Doctor Ayase is still recovering, it seems.

“Hello, Hanayo.” Eli smiles at her, before wincing. “Eh, I guess Nozomi is still mad at me …”

“OF COURSE I AM! **MORON!** ” Nozomi’s voice echoes in her room, but also in the corridor.

Eli lets out a weak chuckle, before looking at Hanayo again.

“Don’t worry, she’ll stop screaming in a few minutes.”

“I WON’T!”

“I’m taking care of her,” Eli says while ignoring the screaming patient on purpose, “I know what Umi planned. I’ll bring her, it’s just going to take me five minutes to be forgiven.” Another chuckle, and she knocks on the door. “Nozomi, just listen to me–“

As Hanayo walks away, a small and amused smile finds its way on her rosy lips –and even more when she hears Nozomi yelling again :

“ELICCHI, YOU DUMB IDIOT!”

 

* * *

 

The last patient on the list is not hard to find. Actually, even a newbie would be able to find such patient in a second before struggling to know who is in which room.

Yuuki Anju was admitted a few days ago and was placed in one of the two seclusion rooms, in which she has been staying ever since. Usually, every new patient ends up with a room, just like everyone else ; but Yuuki Anju completely withdrew into herself, which makes her … Literally out of reach. She does not speak, does not look at whoever enters the room to try to talk to her, and barely eats. The only time Hanayo heard the sound of Anju’s voice was the day she got admitted, against her will. Some security guards put restraints around her wrists and brought her here, while she was thrashing about, crying and yelling at them to let her go.

Just thinking about it saddens Hanayo.

And the young nurse already feels defeated : trying to interact with Yuuki Anju is a battle that she has already lost.

Standing in front of the door, Hanayo can’t help but glance through the square-like glass window on it –a distinctive feature of a seclusion room is that small window which allows the entire staff to know what’s going on inside. Today, just as usual, there is nothing alarming going on : Anju is here, sitting on the poor plain bed –the only furniture in this room–, tightly hugging her knees against her chest. Just as usual. She is motionless, her chin stuck between her knees and her gaze never leaves the tiled floor. Just as usual. She seems exhausted, and her lilac eyes are dull. _Just as usual_.

_How heartbreaking …_

Hanayo inhales sharply and, the moment she grabs the door handle, too many questions start flooding her mind : what is she going to say? A simple ‘hello’, and then wait for an answer which will never come? Or is she going to try to ask something interesting that will make Anju want to speak, for once? … Is she just going to give up a few seconds after passing the door, or will she succeed?

“… Good morning, Anju,” the brunette speaks once she has stepped in the room, a feeling of uneasiness creeping up and sending shivers down her spine –no answer–, “I, uh– I … I’m Koizumi Hanayo and–“

Still no answer.

“–Um, I’m a nurse here …”

The more she talks, the lower her voice becomes, slowly dying down. The lack of reply is not helping her, either. The lack of everything is discouraging : she wasn’t even able to elicit a single thing, not even a sound, a wince or a rictus. Nothing. And it has been like that since they threw her into that white room.

“I … I guess I’ll see you later …”

Hanayo discreetly sighs as she carefully closes the door behind her. What a failure … But at least, she got to check on her and she now knows that there is nothing out of the ordinary. As sad as it’s going to sound, Anju is still the same.

“Ah, Koizumi, I finally found you!” A voice suddenly breaks the young nurse’s train of thoughts. She looks up, only to see doctor Toudou’s piercing but intrigued azure eyes. “Did you talk to Anju?”

“Talking is a big word, Toudou-san,” Hanayo sighs while staring back at the ground, as if she were feeling guilty.

“… I see,” Erena says after a short pause, before she rests a sympathetic hand on the chestnut-haired girl’s shoulder. She slightly squeezes it. “Don’t let yourself get worked up, Koizumi. Let me take the helm, and go meet up with Minami and the others. They’re waiting for you.”

“All right.” Hanayo straightens up a little, and offers her superior a tiny and shaky smile. “Will you try to talk to her, Toudou-san?”

“Yes, I will. I’ve been trying since she got here, and I believe my efforts will pay off, some day.”

 

* * *

 

**_October 31 st_ ** **, 08:45**

The way Kotori and Umi set up the room makes Hanayo smile the moment she shyly enters. There are six tables, all arranged to make a U-shape, which allows the patients to see and look at each other. Speaking of, all the patients she saw earlier are here : Rin, who excitedly waves at her ; Honoka, all dressed and smiling, her chair glued to the one Tsubasa is sitting on –there is absolutely _no_ space between them. And, finally, Nozomi is also here, and she seems to feel better. Her kind and motherly smile is back, her turquoise eyes twinkle … She and Eli certainly made up, and it’s the best thing that could have happened to Hanayo today. Six other patients are here, and so there are two chairs left –maybe the others will be here soon.

Umi is quick to strike up a conversation, greeting everyone, before going on with a kind smile. At first, she asks what today’s date is, and earns a cute pout from Honoka who got the month wrong –but not the weather– (“ _Eeh, but I swear it’s December, it’s cold outside!_ ”), before she agrees with Udo, a man in his thirties.

“Indeed Udo-san, it is October 31st.” She nods her head and smiles, “Which means that it’s also Halloween today.”

Rin calmly raises her hand, but her wide smile gives away her enthusiasm, “Can we have candy, then?”

Umi lightly chuckles, “No, no candy.”

“Aww,” Honoka and Rin both pout, eliciting a giggle from Tsubasa.

“But I heard that the doctors Nishikino and Toudou want to do a cooking workshop with everyone in the afternoon.”

With only one sentence, Umi was able to bring a wide smile on everyone’s face –and Kotori can’t help but silently admire her for that. She would have loved to compliment her mentor, but she knows that it would have flustered her to no end, and she wouldn’t have continued :

“I know that you all like to paint and draw, and that’s why I wanted you here today. A few weeks ago, the watercolor painting was a success, you all had fun with that, so I decided to do it again today. With the colors of Halloween, of course!” As she says this, Umi places in front of each patient two plastic cups filled with clean water, one fine brush, one watercolor paper and a plastic palette with orange, black, brown, dark green, red watercolor paints, helped by Kotori and Hanayo. “I can give you other papers if you need them, but I’ll leave you this one for now. Remember to be creative! I am eager to see what you’re going to do. You can paint something real like a flower or else, or just go with something abstract.”

A few more words, and she finally lets them begin.

Honoka immediately picks her brush before she leans toward Tsubasa, almost making their heads touch, whispering, “Say Tsubasa-chan, what can I paint?”

The emerald-eyed girl turns to look at her dearest friend, their noses ready to brush due to their proximity –and they don’t mind ; it even feels more than comfortable, for them–, “I don’t know. Isn’t there something you’d like to paint?”

Honoka glances at the paper, suddenly lost in thought. She only looks back at Tsubasa the moment the latter places her hand over hers, “It will come naturally, Honoka-chan.”

“… You!” the ginger suddenly exclaims, happily beaming.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you! I want to paint you Tsubasa-chan, because I love you!”

While Tsubasa’s sparkling eyes considerably soften and show all the love she has for Honoka, Hanayo’s heart melts as she hears their conversation.

“I love you too,” Tsubasa whispers back, resting her head against Honoka’s.

“I just don’t know how it’s going to look like when I finish it, but well …”

“Just do your best, Honoka-chan.” She smiles and combs her ginger locks, before focusing on her own blank watercolor paper.

“I will!”

A soft smile graces Hanayo’s features, but it soon disappears when she looks at Kotori, who is discreetly nodding toward Rin. Rin, who is completely engrossed in her painting –and she is progressing very fast. Sliding behind her chair, Hanayo ever-so-slightly leans over her shoulder. Her lavender eyes widen, and she feels her heart breaking. In the middle of Rin’s watercolor paper is an orangey cat, whose eyes have a lighter orange color, whose pupils are barely visible, whose dark brows are furrowed, whose mouth is open, black, and it seems like Rin did her best to leave two white triangles to represent the cat’s fangs. It seems like the cat is raging mad, and hissing.

“Say, Kayo-chin?”

Hanayo instantly freezes –Rin hasn’t even looked up from what she’s doing, wetting the paper under the cat’s head, plunging her brush into the orange spot on the palette, before letting the orange paint spread, slowly drawing the cat’s body–, and the nurse’s heart plummets in her stomach. She feels bad, very bad ; she feels as if she is invading Rin’s privacy.

“Wh-what is it, Rin-chan?”

“Will that thing stop, one day?” Rin asks, her eyes fixated on the cat she’s currently painting.

If it’s even possible, Hanayo’s heart breaks even more. Rin is the type of patient who is very conscious of her condition. She knows that has something, and she knows that it’s the reason why she is temporarily living here. She knows why she must go to the medication room every morning, and why she must take her daily medication.

She knows that she suffers from dissociative identity disorder. And, as surprising as it can be, one of her alters –and the main– is a cat. And it is haunting and hurting her.

“R-Rin-chan …” Hanayo whispers, sadness written all over her face, “Of course, it will stop …”

“Right nya!” Rin twists her upper body a little and offers her friend a rapturous smile, “That’s why I’m here!”

“Indeed …”

“Thank you Kayo-chin, nya. I wanted to hear it from you,” Rin admits, her smile never fading.

And, without adding anything, the short-haired girl focuses on her drawing again. Hanayo bites her lower lip and walks over Kotori, whose amber eyes are silently asking her if everything is okay. The brunette can barely nod, before being caught off guard by someone opening the door.

“Oh, Erena. What are you doing here?” Umi seems as surprised as the two new nurses.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, Umi–“ Erena offers her co-worker an apologetic smile, “–but can I borrow some things, please? I would like to try watercolor painting with one of my patients.”

“Yes, of course. Here, I have a few palettes ready,” Umi says as she hands one to her maroon-haired friend, “And you’ll need a brush like that and two cups. And the paper, of course.”

“Thank you.”

“Erena-san!” Honoka butts in with a chirpy voice, “Is it true that we’re going to do a cooking activity this afternoon?”

A kind smile immediately finds its way on Erena’s lips, and she nods, “Yes Honoka, it’s true. I hope you look forward to it!”

“Yeah!” The blue-eyed ginger grins and loops her right arm around Tsubasa’s shoulders, almost hitting her in the face with the tip of the brush she’s holding, “Count me in! And Tsubasa-chan too!”

“Oh, don’t worry Honoka, I knew you’d come,” Erena giggles, “I’ll see you all later then. Have fun!”

And, with all the tools in her arms, doctor Toudou leaves the room. Deep inside, Hanayo has a feeling that Erena found a new way to help Anju express herself –and she hopes, for once, that she is right.

 

* * *

 

**_October 31 st_ ** **, 10:00**

The activity came to an end a few minutes ago, and Umi is now looking at all the drawings she retrieved before everyone left. Well, except Nozomi’s drawing, as she insisted on wanting to give it to _Elicchi_ –Umi still caught a glimpse of it, and was strucked by how beautiful it was. Indeed, Nozomi drew a garden full of flowers –lilies, to be more precise–, and the colors she used just … perfectly blended. For once, the turquoise-eyed girl didn’t put what was going on in her mind down on paper. She drew her feelings –and positive feelings, this time.

That is the reason why Umi loves organizing drawing activities with all her patients : first, they can be very, very creative, and they often come up with adorable ideas. But, more importantly, she loves this kind of activity because the drawings always say a lot about their artist. And when her patients become artists, it helps her see and discover them in a new light.  
After all, the drawings reflect their soul. It is very common for the patients to draw what they feel –whether it be positive or negative–, but also their deepest secrets, their deepest insecurities, and their deepest fears.

Just like Rin’s drawing.

Umi winces a little as she looks at the furious orangey cat. She slowly puts it on the desk in front of her, and lets out a small sigh.

_Thank goodness we’re here for them …_


End file.
